Weighed Down
by Kenobi
Summary: 'The Duel of the Fates' through Obi-Wan's eyes..


Weighed Down Kenobi 

Disclaimer: All the elements and characters in this story are not mine. 

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Once my feet touch the metal ground my lightsaber is on and I take off down the railess bridge. My legs are disturbingly weak from my brush with death just mere seconds before. But now it is long forgotten, only the frustration of my idle movement remains. I focus my strength to my legs, as the images of the other two flash in front of me, battle against each other. I see the colors of blood red and a familiar green move promptly against each other, my Master pushing the mysterious man backwards into a red force field of some sort. 

I pick up my speed when I see the electric doors open. My mind frantic to be by Qui-Gon's side, yet my body refusing to acknowledge my anxiety. I am now but a few feet from the first door when a silent voice warns me of upcoming danger. My muscles lesson their strain coming to a partial halt and then slipping to a complete stop inches before the red closes in. 

I watch the two ahead of myself in separate chambers, their eyes locked only on each other. I deactivate my saber in vehemence anger at myself. If only I could have been just a bit faster or more attuned to the Force, so that I could have seen that last attack that sent me down almost to my death. I push my unwanted thoughts from my mind to center them on more important waves. 

My Master kneels in a meditation stance to prepare for the battle to continue. A calmness radiates from the Jedi Master, I accept the subtle hint that he is portraying. The example he is showing to an impatient apprentice like myself, is that of tranquillity in the midst of such a time as this. I take in a deep breath and hold it, tuning myself to the world around me. Drawing it out slowly, only a few of my worries flee with the breath. 

Feelings of anger still linger. Anger at myself for getting trapped so far away and even frustration at my Master for rushing ahead instead of waiting for myself to catch up.It is long and I should be able to outrun the laser walls before they would close for a second time. 

I gaze at my Master, a unmistakable weariness I see in the slight slump of his shoulders, in the bow of his back. My Master was one of the best swordsman I have ever seen in action, yet he was growing old. I again push my worries and fears from my mind. 

I still stand my body slightly wavering in anticipation for the next move to take place. The dark man pacing back and forth in front of my Master. His dire eyes looking at Qui-Gon as that of a predator waiting for the exact time to pounce upon his next meal. 

I feel the motors shifting towards release, getting prepared to unveil the passage to the others. I again ignite my saber and place myself in a common fighters stance. The seconds tick by like that of hours before the electric wall moves in slow motion, allowing entrance. I pay no attention to the others ahead of me, I centralize all my concentrations to my own motion. I swing my lightsaber in a futile attempt to increase me speed. The power greater than I understand, yet again warns me of upcoming danger, and I stop scarcely ending my pursuit in front of the last red wall. 

My mind wanders momentarily to the contrast in the timing of walls. Before they were open twice as long as now. I settle that they are programmed to operate randomly. I jerk my irrelevant curiosities to the present matter. As I watch the weapons met and depart in a fury of attacks a sickening feeling surrounds me. Part of me is ignorant to what this feeling is, the other wonders if its suspicion is true. My heart beats more rapidly with every step they take, my breathing multiplies every time the two sabers touch. 

The enemy hesitates before moving in again. He charges in on Qui-Gon with confidence, his blows fierce and strong. The slow motion nauseating sense returns as the deed that haunted me but moments ago takes place before me. 

The dark man brings his arm up to greet my Masters face, stunning him for only a few seconds, but that is all the time he requires. Swinging around he impales the Jedi Master in the mid section. I see only Qui-Gon, he stiffened with the impact, then taking a small step back as the weapon is withdrawn. His face is that of shock and pain, then his eyes cloud as his arms weaken and lower and he sinks to his knees. 

I hear a muffled scream in my ears, a sound familiar to me... My own Voice! I hear it yell the one word that voices my need to rewrite what has taken place. 'No'. The word drawn out and loud. 

My eyes never leave my Master till he lays helpless on the cold floor, I feel some life illuminate from him, but the tatooed madman will pay. My gaze turns to the other, he canters back and forth in front of me like he did previously to his last victim. And that was all Qui-Gon was to him, his victim. 

I breath in deep through my nose in an attempt to calm myself. My anger and sorrow blend in to form an nauseating effect physically. So many questions and thoughts flow into my head, it is almost unbearable. Yet in the midst of my inner turmoil I can only envision one thing. My hands wrapped around this monsters neck, his blood oozing through my fingers, and his dark eyes no more. All this happening in only seconds of time. 

I feel it again, the door about to be opened. I can't hold still, I gentle bob up and down to let some of the tension out. My weapon is on, as well as the enemy's. Then the redness dissolves. 

I run at the dark man, my feet accurate not to overstep even slightly. I drawn my saber high in an upwards attack, blocked easily by my foe. Then down, a blur of colors blocks my vision to what the Force is guiding me to do. He spins to counter my assaults with one side of his powerful weapon. Our sabers meet, using this to his advantage he pulls my blade over us in an effort to open up my body. My saber is everywhere at once defending my body from numerous attacks. My blue blade is behind me one second then in the front the next. A fury of indistinguishable motions flow from my hand as well as from my opponents. 

He advances on myself and we part for a second. I swing my saber about carelessly in one hand, mockingly, as a response he spins his own around in front of himself. He is about to strike again, I wait for him this time, it was the proper way a jedi should handle himself in combat, remain patient as your adversary makes the first move. I extend my saber anticipating his blade as it closes in from one side. I block two more similar assaults. The Force hints danger and I jump high, his saber a blurred red spray beneath me. I land with a array of fierce charges, pushing him backwards with every counter I deliver. My saber is high in the air, then below, and again flies from one side to the other side. I add muscle power to further my attempt to corner him, to make him pay... 

A cocky vigor fills me, the moment I am aware that I have him right where I want him. I draw my saber crudely upwards in an effort to dissect him from navel to nose, instead I miss inches away from his flesh, slicing through the center of his weapon. 

In the heat of the moment and only half-second to act I find myself only knocking him off balance with the bottom on my boot into his torso. He stumbles back and falls. Though fallen he brings his saber aloft, I fly over him with the aid of the Force, I do so to confuse my enemy, but only succeed in stopping his saber mid-air with my own. He is not easily fazed. 

My feet touch the ground right as he jumps up. I ungracefully swing my saber at his fleeting form in a futile attempt to pierce him, my desperate actions no match for his speed. To gain more acceleration he twirls in the air a few times before finally landing with his face towards me. As I pursue him I spin my weapon, bringing it around to confront his. Now I am up against just one blood-red edge, I relax somewhat but my pursuit is the same, to make this dark man suffer for what he has taken away from me. 

Our blades are locked in different directions above us. My anger, fear, and passion for revenge clouds my concentration here and there. Like my vision was blinking in and out, being blinded with hate one moment and then striving to keep focused the next, opening myself up to the Force. 

My Master's words echo in my ears,_ 'Don't Center on your anxiety, Obi-Wan, keep your concentration on the here and now where it belongs'._ I aim to heed his words but find it extremely difficult._ 'Be mindful of the living Force, my young Padawan..'_

Almost as if the Sith can feel my state being disturbed he jerks his weapon down, I just barely deflect in time. I am greeted when looking up with a boot in my face. My top frame is propelled backwards, I swiftly call upon balance and triumphantly invert my body back, landing on my feet. 

Furious and straining to keep my calm I counter one blow before he taunts me by twisting his body in mid-air his saber extended out as he flies through the air. I draw out my blade to meet his, keeping its distance away from my body. 

I slowly make my way towards him, his arm is outstretched in an inviting, jeering manner. My anger boils up within me like that of bile creeping its way up my throat. But I have no time to dwell on this, only time to react as he spins around and forward at me his fiery edge sticking out from the confusion of his body. I cross blades with his but they don't stay in that position for long. Our weapons once again a mess of blood-red and deep-blue in a haze of ups and downs. Our feet circle each other, they move in and out like that of skilled dancers, never remaining in one place. 

I swing out a mighty blow meant to take off his menacing head. He ducks swiftly and draws up his saber as I push mine down into his. The two blades are deadly close to his skin. 

I glare into his corrupt orbs of odd colors. A shiver runs up my spin from the waves of immorality radiating from his gaze. I quickly shake it off as new thoughts of victory occupy my mind. I again have him at a disadvantage. I let the taste of revenge linger in my mouth for too long. 

My concentration is diverted for a mere half-second, he attacks my drawback instantly. He shoves me off of him slightly and then proceeded to push me away completely with a blast from the more shaded side of the Force. 

Dropping my saber I tumble backwards my feet over my head for an instant then the support under me was no more. I immediately knew why, the cavity that I avoided cautiously before was now under me. My hands desperately search for aid. Finding something I tighten my grip. My fall is broken, feeling my body jerk uncomfortably to a halt. I dangle for some seconds before I see my weapon soar over my head. I watch as it hits the sides of the pit before it escapes my view. 

I snap my head up to see the dark man towering over me. He smiles, a cruel, rotten toothed grin. His gaze never leaves my helpless form as he raises his weapon over his head and letting his arm swing down. The hot blade scraps the side of the abyss I hang from. The cause being a shower of sparks raining down on myself and flooding my vision. I struggle to avoid contact with the floating fires but some exposure is inevitable. 

I had to think, had to connect with the Force. I travel deep within myself attaching myself to the power I worked so hard to understand. I battled to calm myself to rid myself of all the anger, revenge, and remorse that dwelled within me. I banish the array of emotion and meld with the last of my reserves. 

The hot rain ceases and I look up at my enemy. I call upon the tranquillity to steady my thoughts and control my next actions. 

I reached into my foe's mind, sense the same assurance of victory that I had but seconds ago. This was where I was at fault. I turn the tables and try something similar to what he did to me. His mind is strong but distracted, I feed his mind confusion, attacking his lack of focus. 

I continue to morph his mind into disorder as my gaze falls over to a discarded item laying by a fallen warrior. I look back at my foe, I transmit a stronger ray of confusion and blindness. It would last but a few instants, but that was all I required. He stares down on me, his expression uncertain. It's Working! 

I glance at the abandoned saber, it inches in my direction. Then taking a deep breath the Force takes hold and propels me towards the lip of the pit, as I draw the saber into my grasp. The moment I feel the cold metal against my sweaty palm, it's activated. I sense the dark man's eyes on me as I somersault over his head. His grip on reality surfaces, But it is too late. 

I land and draw back my weapon then let it swing. I flinch at the swift sound of hot energy slices its way through flesh, internal organs and bone reach my ears. 

A gasp escapes his lips while his weight shifts towards the pit. I stand up from my crouched position and stare at his unreadable expression, then he falls in two halves down. I watch till he flees my vision. 

I wait catching my breath and taking in all that I just did before reality hits me. I thumb off my lightsaber and run to my Master's side. I am still aware of life radiating from him though it was getting further and further away. Am I too late? 

I sink beside him and gently scoop his head and upper body into my arms. 

"It's...it's too late." A weak, hoarse sound breathed through his lips, voicing my fears. 

I shake my head uncontrollably in denial. "No.." My voice sounds frail and shrill, desperate. 

"Obi-Wan-" he pauses for a breath, "promise..promise me you'll train the boy." He said as sternly as his failing vocal cords could muster. 

I nod my head and reply: "Yes, Master." I am willing to do or say anything to ease some pain so he could possibly hold on. He raises a hand and touches my cheek momentarily, an action like that of a father proud and trusting towards his son. His breathing quickens yet he continues to speak. 

"He is the Chosen One...He will bring balance.." He was fading.."Train him.." 

I acknowledged every word with a nod. 

His eyes locked with mine till his lids became too heavy with the strain of death. They close forever with one last breath that caresses my cheek. I catch his face before it goes limp to one side. He is gone. My throat went dry, and my eye blur with unwelcome tears. 

I rested my face against his, pulling the lifeless body closer to mine. I took in a sharp breath letting it out with one drop of grief spilling down my face and then on his. 

My existence was weighed down with loss and loneliness. The only father I knew, the one man I looked up to and admired like a son would cherish a parent, is now gone. He is yet another loved one to add to the list of this who have died in my arms. And perhaps he wouldn't be the last. 

More tears follow the first... 

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Light of the world   
Are You still here   
And are we illuminating   
When love becomes a delicate display   
So weak, dissolved by anything 

Love lies here waiting all alone   
Can a king be a king   
Weighed down 

Our hearts a bubble maker's dream   
Moved on by winds of everything   
As we deny that love is still the king   
Not as weak as we make Him out to be 

Love lies here waiting all alone   
Can a king be a king   
Weighed down 

Weighed Down   
Weighed Down   
Weighed Down 

- Dan Haseltine 

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The web-site dedicated to all those odd ideas in my head can be found at Frailty: An Alternate Star Wars Universe   
This fic was written to portray Obi-Wan's thoughts during 'The Battle of the Fates.' The Love he is showing Qui-Gon is that of love shared between a _Father_ and _Son_. _Not_ a deranged romantic love that I read so frequently in some fics. -Kenobi 


End file.
